i've been drinking coffee* wrong this whole time
and you might be, too. | *this also applies to tea, for those of us who also really love tea<3 (:
One must savor the coffee, to actually have it.
-Mohith Agadi
Mothers hurry many things—swiping eyelashes with mascara instead of putting on a face, sliding into well-worn shoes, sending a voice memo while dashing to get a kid’s winter coat from the closet instead of texting a friend back; but the first sip of morning coffee, or tea, is not to be rushed, but, rather, revered.
That moment when your favorite mug first touches your lips is the very moment you’ve been building to since the ritual began, since you first fired up the stove and put the kettle on, or lovingly scooped freshly-ground beans into your old drip maker. That first sip of morning tea or coffee is sacred, is beginning.
Before children, morning coffee was one of the most important moments of my day. I paired my coffee with a good book or a decadent breakfast (or a cupcake). It was part of my writing routine. My favorite way to spend time with friends was conversation over coffee. On the coldest days, hot coffee was my reason for getting out bed. I not only loved the ritual of making and sipping morning coffee, I looked forward to the moments surrounding my coffee. Moments that, though from the outside seem solitary, were, in fact, collaborative—either me and my coffee, spending time in a fictional world with fictional people, or me and my coffee, spending time with someone I love.
I’d been saving my “good tea” and “good coffee” for the weekends, for mornings my husband is home and I can steal away for a few minutes to either watch the stovetop burner fire to life and listen for the tea kettle’s whistle, or grind oily beans and listen to the gurgling of the pot. I’m sure I’m not the only stay-at-home-mom who, though blessed to spend every day with her two favorite humans, delight in their company, witness with awe their growth, occasionally yearns for a moment to herself. Hands, free. Mind, free to wander. So I’d been saving the “good tea” and “good coffee” for days when I can carve out a few minutes to sit with my hands around my favorite mug and watch the steam rise, when I can pair that piping hot drink with a piece of chocolate or a cookie or toast with jam and daydream at the kitchen island or write at the dining room table. When I can finish the first mug while it’s still hot and pour another.
I’ve been saving my “good tea” and “good coffee” for “special mornings” when I have a moment to myself, forgetting that the best moments of my life are spent not alone but in the company of my family. Forgetting that my absolute favorite parts of every day are the minutes that melt into hours spent playing and laughing and talking and exploring our small corner of the world with my toddler son and baby girl. I would choose watching my son grab the leash on his plastic turtle and command, “Come on!” while tapping his thigh over any movie. I’d rather listen to my daughter’s tinkling laughter than any piece of music. I’d rather follow my son around the same two blocks than jetset without the kids. I would choose giving up a budding career in journalism to stay at home with them every time. So why wouldn’t I put on the good coffee or sip the good tea on an ordinary Tuesday, knowing that the day ahead is going to be extraordinary simply because I’m spending the day at home with my kids?
I’d been saving my “good tea” and “good coffee” for “special occassions” when, really, every morning I wake up to a day of hanging out with my kids ahead of me is an occassion to celebrate. I think I’ve been drinking my tea, my coffee, wrong this whole time. Lately, I’ve started steeping the cardamom, grinding the blueberry beans, indulging in my favorite aromas and flavors while playing “school bus” with my toddler son, one hand firmly around my favorite mug, the other arm balancing my six-month-old daughter. One’s favorite coffee, one’s favorite tea, pairs well with a good book or a decadent breakfast or a cookie or an hour of writing. But it turns out my favorite coffee and my favorite tea pair best with time with my little boy and my little girl.
Katherine Mansfield is a former full-time journalist who is now a full-time mom and honestly can’t believe this slow, simple life is her’s. Mansfield is mostly a mom-writer, but she also enjoys watching old movies with her husband Josh and obscenely long coffee dates with her parents, siblings, and friends. If you like what you read, please like, share, or comment. If you really like what you read, please consider becoming a subscriber or donating to her caffeine fund. :)
If you enjoyed this piece, you might also like the most boring day, an essay on the beauty of a day indoors, or linger, a poem about wanting a moment to last a little longer.
If you’re snowed in and looking for a short piece of thematic fiction, might I recommend the return, a piece of micro fiction that romanticizes snow. :)
I’m learning that every moment is a moment for “the good stuff.” I don’t want to be at the end of my spin on this planet and have a shelf full of the good stuff I saved and never used. Thanks for reminding me of that.