day 27: the absolute limit
(It's the last day of April, which means it's the last day of Escapril, which means this is the last shoddy poem you'll receive for a lil' while:))
face down in the sand the man with five kids and as many boogie boards looked at me and said i'd give anything to be her right now looks like fun but is, in fact, rock b o t t o m i stayed there for years and years and romanticized the idea of a room littered in bottles catching candlelight and ink-stained fingers and notebooks filled with grand ideas. write drunk, edit sober and how's that working out for you? and it's not working out for me, so i self-medicate, fuck anxiety, i'm gonna be something (oh she was something, wasn't she, wasted potential, wasted, again, pathetic, crying offkey, loudly, in the bar, it's a miracle she made it to the car, and home) i'm gonna be something, i'm gonna be drunk at the bonfire, per usual, refusing water, sneaking shots, causing a scene i never dreamed of starring in. people whispered wondered is she okay and for once i'm just having fun wasn't fun, wasn't anything but sad i courted chaos, flirted with death, discovered the absolute limit of debauchary and finally, after years and years and years i fell to my knees, begged someone save me and He did. i dated destruction, idolized death, burned bridges, ruined relationships, and yet, at my lowest, mercy was e x t e n d e d freely. and on a cold december day, in a church just blocks away, i found the absolute limit of forgiveness.
If you’ve been here since about April 1, you’ll remember this year, I decided to just do it, join in the fun of National Poetry Writing Month and pen a poem every day this month, based off Letsescapril’s prompts. (If you’re new: hi! This is the Escapril intro post!)
April is coming to a close and, well, I almost did it. Almost. Last week, it was hard to find time between work, mom-ing and general daily life to write, and while I’m sorta bummed I didn’t successfully complete Escapril2024, I am proud of myself for writing so many dang poems, no matter how shoddy they may be!
Thanks for following along on that wildly wordy and sometimes weird poetic journey.
Now, onto May things…
None of these have been "shoddy" poems! I felt the longing and desperate hope in this one. Also it's your beautiful sense of rhythm and slant rhymes for me - my favorite type! Thank you for sharing 'Escapril' with us!
I like this one! They are all so good!